Suicide Crisis — Learning to lose

JOPLIN, Mo. — Accepting defeat is a part of life, but it needs to be done properly to protect our mental health.

Del Camp, Chief Clinical Officer, Freeman Ozark Center, “Learning how to be good winners and learning how to be good losers. You have to be able to do both well.”

Winning and losing — it’s a part of life, right? But what effect does a loss have on our self esteem?

“Those who can’t find something that they’re good at, tend to struggle.”

Del camp at Freeman Health System’s Ozark Center explains the natural response to losing.

“Those who have less to lose tend to be much more impulsive and tend to change what they do significantly more when there’s not a lot to lose.”

When faced with adversity, he says our minds want to fix the issue.

“Oops, I lost. I’ve got to do something significantly different. Whereas, when you win, you want to stay basically doing the same. What most research tells us is the lose-shift is an overreaction.”

And that overreaction can affect our mental health.

“I think we were built to kind of enjoy competition. I think we were built to enjoy the experience of winning, which is why we want everyone to win in our society, right?”

But “everyone winning” just can’t happen – someone always has to lose. He recommends learning to be a gracious loser by responding in a calm way and understanding that a loss isn’t necessarily entirely your fault.

“A moderate response to both is really critical. So, recognizing there are a lot of pieces to fall into place for someone to win.”

And opposingly, a lot of pieces work together for a loss, too.

“If I lost, you have to look at all those other contributing factors and then make a reasoned decision as to what might need to change in order for you to perhaps be successful next time.”

He says understanding that life is a mix of both winning and losing is the key.

“It’s always good to have some humility, right? Whether you win or lose, there’s always something to be said. There’s always some nobility in being humble.”

If you know anyone struggling with their mental health and they need someone to talk to, we urge you to call the suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-talk.